God continues to hear our prayers and show us many miracles along this dark road that restore my faith. I believe more and more that suffering is the part of life that keeps me humble. Suffering has( positively )grown my relationship with God and my love for people. I need God. I talk to God like I never have before in my life. That sounds silly even as I type it. Because how do we put our faith in something that doesn’t seem to always answer our prayers accordingly. I’m still not sure. But I continue to feel and witness enough of the goodness of God to believe I am taken care of . And although I do not understand the plan, it is worth trusting.
Another one of my daily prayers I continued to pray was for us was to be able to meet Mike’s donor. Christmas came early for us because on the last day of Mikes radiation, we were given the gift of a FaceTime call with the “other Michael” as he called himself when he text Mike for the first time the night prior.
Since Santa brought us the stomach bug Christmas morning , I will always consider this our Christmas Day this year . December 20th, also the day my sister in laws Mom passed away. I believe she was a special angel delivering us this gift that day.
It’s a feeling of gratitude that I have no words to describe.
I’m grateful to God for giving this miracle. As many friends have lost loved ones on this journey before this opportunity was given to them.
I’m grateful for the other Michael who gave me hope in everything. Because honestly , the world of cancer has made me sad lately, as friends are spending holidays without loved ones and in the hospital away from family. Maybe I have a tiny bit of the grinch in me this year . We watched it enough for osmosis to occur 😜
I’m grateful for his incredible personality that made us feel like we have known him forever. And that he was equally as excited to meet Mike and know all about our family. He asked lots of questions and was so sweet with Graham.
He is originally from Arizona. He went to undergrad at UCLA. His freshman or sophomore year, he often gave blood at a blood bank near where he lived. One day the Be the Match organization was recruiting donors while he was giving blood and so he agreed to join and they swabbed his cheek that day.
It wasn’t until a couple years later until he was hunted down and received the call about Mike. And in a whirl wind of a three week period he had graduated from UCLA, taken the MCATS , moved back to Arizona , then flown back to California to donate his cells, and finally moved to shanghai China just a couple days later to teach biology. He will be there until 2019 and then will come home to apply for
He told us he reached out through out the year to find out about Mike and basically all they would tell him was he is alive.
Our email advent devotions from church this season were all titled - “what are you waiting for?”
I have thought about this question through out the month of December.
This gift of meeting meeting Mikes donor was definitely something we have been waiting for. And so we give thanks to God. The weight of the suffering was lifted to some degree. Like maybe this journey has a purpose - has meaning.
I’m reminded of Penny and words - to celebrate all victories big and small, and that doesn’t have to mean a clear scan.
So we have celebrated this big victory that helps make that blind faith feel worth it. It’s worth believing in things you can not see. It’s worth hoping. It’s worth waiting.
But I think I what I will be waiting for will continue to change. I am realizing there is always something to be waiting for as our worlds are ever changing.
The constant prayer I hope and wait for, and am praying for is peace. Feels like another unattainable goal but one I am practicing anyways.
My world is not going to stop changing or being crazy and chaotic, any quicker than the next person.
So how do I find that peace? The peace that the baby (The Prince of Peace) in the manger is suppose to bring? I want it to fill my heart, soul, spirit, blood, body, mind, body, my whole entire being.
I find it these days in the other Michael. I find it in the kindness others show in the small things they do for others and for me. There is so much good in this world, that is not shared.
Wes use to harass me when Mike and were dating and living in different states by saying we were in “constant contact”. I was always texting or calling him. If it had been too long in my mind since we had talked, I would call again. Didn’t matter if it had only been 5 minutes.
I’m finding that I need this kind of relationship with God too. When my heart aches or I feel the sting of suffering , I’m trying to make this my automatic response. To dial in to God. I find that when I am in that same “constant contact” with God, I am also given that comfort and peace of mind and heart that Mike provided states away. God provides peace.
And your listening through our email updates provides us with peace. We are grateful.
Thank you for continuing to walk this road with us.
We wish you all the Peace , hope , and love in 2018.
Also On Wednesday the 20th , mike finished his 12 rounds of radiation. He rang the bell, because why the hell not.
We share this hopeful picture with you all. I took the criticism of being called a weird wife, but it was worth it.
The picture means everything to me. However I won’t need the picture to remember this moment.