Fight Like Mike almost Friday
A Best Friend's Pain
I came across this poem,
as I was scrolling and searching through the pictures on my phone,
for the perfect screen shot of words to send to Kirby last week.
Her grief is raw.
She is living the beginning days of grief,
when the protective shield of adrenaline and numbness,
starts to slowly shed off
and the actual 6 billion ton pain of your broken heart
takes over your entire body.
I hate to tell her that it gets worse before it gets better.
She feels that already.
All I can think to tell her is she will be ok.
I had friends that had felt the same loss ,
that were months and years ahead of me,
that would say the same.
Drink sips of water, take the walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, they would say.
You will be ok, you will be ok
they would say.
And the only reason I believed them ,
the only reason it gave me hope,
is because they were still living.
Still standing upright.
Still breathing.
Proof.
and I needed physical proof.
I was crushed under this weight.
Flattened.
But for a moment in time,
and only a moment,
did this 6 billion ton weight lift ever so slightly to a 5 billion ton weight.
Every day I live,
I hope I can be living proof ,
that the heaviest of heaviest teaspoons of pain,
will continue to lighten.
I do not believe it will ever go away completely.
Nor do I want it to.
A love I never want to forget.
But I am grateful to be able to breathe again.
I do not know what painful loss
someone else has swallowed.
I am looking into the half smile and sad eyes of the
lady scanning Celia's science fair materials at Michaels.
Often our happy halloween mask of smiles,
we wear every day,
disguises the neutron star
we carry in our hearts, minds and
bodies.
We carry this 6 billion ton weight
daily as we try to
purchase groceries and fill our tanks with gas.
As we try to take our kids to dentist appointments
and do our jobs at work .
Slow down.
Listen to someones pain.
Trust they have it without asking.
Be kind.
And tender .
Feel the weight with them .
Only then will it
lighten to
5 billion tons.
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