Ginny encouraged me this week,
to come to our new office space,
and write for one hour.
So... here I am.
Wouldn’t you know,
that as I sat down at Grandpa’s old desk,
and turned on Pandora,
the song playing was…
yep, you guessed it,
“Whatever it is”.
I sure miss your texts.
That simply said just that…
You got Whatever it is, Snookie.
But I feel you.
Through the words of our song.
You are reminding me,
I still have whatever it is,
and to keep swimming.
Through these waves of grief.
You are reminding me
you are here with me.
On my drive here,
I was thinking about how much
we try to feel the love
and touch of those who have died.
Like when I sleep on your side of the bed.
If I close my eyes tight enough
and think hard enough
maybe I can get close enough
to feel something more than
Death is strange.
It makes us do weird things.
So I wondered,
I wondered if when I sat at Grandpa’s desk,
If I would feel him with me?
Maybe you are trying to steal the show,
By playing our song. haha
Grandma told me recently
That he always hoped I would write more.
I hope I can feel him with me
As I start this next chapter
The way I just felt you with me.
I dream of putting our story on paper
for you but mostly for the kids.
I can't quite figure out how to start
Ginny encouraged me to just come
And dedicate one hour to it.
She said that she always believes ,
she is here to be an instrument of God.
And she asks that she could be an instrument,
a vessel before she meets with each of her clients.
She reminded me the importance of showing up,
even if you don’t know the outcome,
even if you don't know the next step,
or what you will write about.
That it is in the showing up,
where you allow God to work through you.
I think that reminder is like my dad’s card.
Every day you do the best you can do
And leave the rest to God.
You did this, in your fight.
In the way, you lived.
Which is what is inspiring me
and so many people
You were paired with a doctor who did this.
We were (and still )are surrounded
by family, friends, nurses, doctors, preachers,
who are living vessels,
living instruments of God.
Who taught us that it is in the showing up
That counts the most.
I forget that on days.
I am still full of self-pity,
I know that’s disappointing…lol
I forget I am a vessel
I sometimes don’t want to be one.
I forget that,
our love story
is not ours.
It is God’s story.
Because if it was mine
I would not have written this ending.
Yet…. When I believe in showing up
And trust God’s story…
Days like October 29th happen.
Our Third Field day!
I want you to know,
the kids and I are being
taken care of so incredibly well.
We have been loved by the most amazing community.
New and Old friends and family came together to love and support us yet again.
And today as I sit here and reflect... I feel nothing but immense gratitude.
I am so humbled by their generosity, grace, and love.
It is the greatest gift anyone could ask for.
Thank you will never be enough.
And yet I remember the words of Alice Walker,
“Thank you is the best prayer that anyone could say.”
And so my prayer ….
To Our Fight like Mike army is this…
I remember when your aunt Courtney
sent me an email only days before she died.
It said something I cherish…
“You know how much you mean to me “
Her powerful words struck me to my core.
My prayer is also the same, for you, My Fight Like Mike Army…
That you each know how much you mean to me.
And how grateful I am for the gift of you.
And all the amazing ways you love us.
Our Fight Like Mike/ Share Love Field Day
Was a huge success,
Each of you believes in our mission,
And shows up,
with your unique skill sets
and make a dream come true.
We will cherish the memories of the day forever.
However, it was most successful in that
Endless amounts of love was shared.
There are countless individual Thank You’s to come.
But please know that we go into Thanksgiving week ,
especially grateful for all you do for us.
Currently, it's your youngest clone… from the school nurse;)
I keep trying to fight like you.
Surrendering the rest to God.
I miss you .
You still have whatever it is.
I love you Snookie,
Thank you all again for making the day so special. I want to share a picture and send a special thank you to our sweet Seymour Family. My. Seymour was our first patient that stayed in the Fight Like Mike apartment in Augusta. After all, they have been through, he and his sweet wife and son made the trip to Atlanta. It was a gift to meet them. Please continue to pray for the two other families that have stayed in the apartment and are there currently. Their journeys have been so hard and filled with heartache. Reminding me that it is not about any outcome, it is about the love shared along the way.
Thank you for helping individuals like them through your generosity. This apartment would not be available if not for your continued gifts to Share Love, That's all.
I will share more pictures of the day as I get them.
We raised over $ 30, 000. from the event and through donations.
Truly , Thank you will never feel like enough.
We hope your Thanksgiving is full of so much love:)