As I ran the first morning at the beach last week , dark storm clouds were rolling in. I use to be very fearful of storms. However after walking through the storm of cancer , I actually have grown to love these storms.
Sometimes my world feels that dark .
I ran all the way down to the end of the pier . Salt water blew on my skin , the air was cold. The strong waves kept coming. Crashing. Not slowly easing into the rocks. But crashing in to the big rocks along the side of the pier. The spray slightly stung and soaked my skin as I ran.
The waves kept coming.
I prayed for Emily , for Meme , for all those suffering. For all those in the heart of the
relentless waves of suffering. It is not just cancer. It's, accidents, and caring for the elderly, and caring for the young sick children, the homeless, the hungry. Waves of suffering will keep coming.
Will they ever stop? I am uncertain.
When I got to the end of the pier and through all the powerful waves.
I turned around. T
o see my favorite view.
And to my surprise , in the middle of the storm, the light was on and shining in the light house.
Peace suddenly filled my heart .
I realized I was experiencing all three healing salt waters at once. Sweat, tears, and the sea.
I felt at ease.
Deep within our suffering.
We are born with it.
God is there , the light.
We must be open to it.
Even in the storms.
I need these physical reminders and God winks to continue to find courage and strength.
We are meant to be lighthouses for each other in the storms of life. Especially when we can't seem to find our own light within.
The song - Good Good Father but Chris Tomlin came on my shuffled pandora about the same time . ( promise I am not making it up ... I know it sounds cheesy :)
But these lyrics made me realize and give me strength in knowing God is with me .
"I've seen many searching for answers far and wide But I know we're all searching For answers only you provide 'Cause you know just what we need Before we say a word"
God does not promise easy or answers. But he does promise to
Be with you and be your light. He has places that light in you at birth.
Waves will never cease.
We need each other.
Mike met us at the beach on Wednesday , the day before my birthday. Three years ago I had convinced myself we had just celebrated my last birthday together because it had been such a perfect day only a month before he was diagnosed.
But what I learned in these last years , is that I don't know shit . ha.
And I am grateful that we are not meant to know God's plan. We celebrated my third birthday since his diagnosed. And that is my greatest gift.
The gift of more time with him but also the gift of learning to trust the journey. God knows what we need and only he knows the answers.
So I trust the journey.
Believing the lighthouse of God will always shine bright in the storms.
Especially through other people.
Every day is a gift......
Keep Swimming through the waves.