THANK YOU !

Fight Like Mike Friday. 

I was sitting at the office this morning.

I have been reading through old blogs and journals I wrote while Mike was sick .

Opening these , opens back up the wounds in my heart.

And to be honest it’s hard to sit with it some days.

So instead I hang pictures, organize hundreds of shirts, rearrange furniture.

But my heart calls for more.

I know that by now.

I have to sit with the pain.

It doesn’t have to be for long… but this is how I Keep Swimming.

Field ay, October, Mike and Jake’s birthday make the scars on my heart itch again.

I say itch because I was stung by a bee two days ago

and I am currently trying not to claw my foot off right now.

Scar tissue itches and aches at times.

It calls for a different kind of attention. 

So this morning I sat with the wanting to send you all a thank you note for showing up yet again,

on Sept 27th for our Share Love Field Day.

I felt the tears well up because

I know I the roots of this foundation,

the scar tissue, runs deep to my core.

To the pain . 

When I opened the current journal I am on,

in this process of rereading and going back through

all the notebooks of our Fight Like mike journey.

( Thank you to Sug Cheatwood for this incredible gift she gave me

because I would have any of them if she had not  printed them out for me)

I read  from January 19, 2019.

“ The more spacious and and larger our fundamental nature, the more bearable the pains of living.”

I reread this story below that I shared in that email on January 19, 2019.

“ The pain of life is our salt ; no more, no less. The amount of pain in my life remains the same. But the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in . So when you are in pain , the only think you can do is to enlarge your senses of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake. “ Mark Nepo

It made me think of Field Day.

In my own head, home, or water glass things become really salty. 

Like the saltiness of 1 tortilla chip,

  after one of my children gets a hold of the salt shaker at Eduardo’s. 

Yes, we might have been there eating Mexican last night…haha. 

But when they share the salt amongst the basket of chips. 

It’s edible.( sometimes lol )

When we share our pain. 

When we are together. 

And see how our pain 

Is the exact same pain,

as friends, loved ones, and strangers. 

When we realize we all have scar tissue in our hearts,

Our pain feels bearable. 

I have come to realize it is much easier 

To Keep Swimming in a lake,

Instead of a fish tank. 

Thank you for that reminder on Field DAY. 

I am so grateful. 

The day could not have been more beautiful.

Thank you for continuing to show up despite whatever

pain you are bearing in your heart.

Your love will always be the remedy for our scar tissued hearts.

I love you all, 

Lindsey 

Please send me pics if you have any :)